This sucks...

I hate not being able to exercise. I just feel fat - and not toned. :( Briskly walking is just not cutting it. Maybe I need to walk briskly LONGER. We'll try that this week.

UGH.

Depressing news...

Sooo... I went to the doctor about my leg... and I can't exercise for THREE WEEKS! kfj;dlkjsf;jkvhs;dfkjghas;djh;dsalkgjasf;gklsdaj - is how I feel about that.

I'll restart insanity again in three weeks, and my leg better be freaking healed. I have to drink at least 3 qts of water a day, and can only walk briskly four times a week.

No exercise for Jackie... I don't even know what to do with myself. :( I better just eat EXTREMELY right because I don't have any exercise to back up eating something wrong.

I'm thinking I could just work on my pulls up maybe... I should ask.

Day 12 - 15 and Baby Thoughts!

So, this last week was the first time I did cardio abs. I really like this ab work out. It's a new take on how to get abs, and I hope it works. I took my rest day for this week yesterday - was feeling a bit under the weather, but did the fit test today. You do this fit test every two weeks - and the first time I did it, I thought this is such a dumb video. lol But today, I wanted to beat all my first week's numbers, and I actually really enjoyed the video.

Exercise: First week/Third Week

Switch Kicks: 120/126

Power Jacks: 35/50

Power Knees: 68/100

Power Jumps: 20/35

Globe Jumps: 8/11

Suicide Jumps: 15/18

Push-up Jacks: 11/20

Low Plank Oblique: 39/65

It's nice to see that big of an improvement - I'm glad we do the fit test.

Anyway, I've been losing .2 lbs pretty consistently. If I can lose .2 lbs every day, then I could lose two more lbs by the time we went to New Jersey - which would be awesome, because it would remind me that I need to stay eating well out there. haha Cheese steaks... yum.

Also, I've changed my goal to just lose four more lbs at the present moment. Then when I do, I'll make a new one for another five lbs, then another five, and be done! :) But then I'm taking it by baby steps which will be much easier I think.

AND, Eric and I were talking about baby plans. We decided the times to have babies are after Labor Day to Halloween, after Easter to Memorial Day, and after 4th of July until Labor Day.

So if we could have our babies end of September-beginning of October, Mid April to Mid May, and Mid July to End of August - it would be perfect! They would miss having their birthday on a holiday (which I hate) and it could still be their special day! I realize there is pioneer day at the end of July - but it's just Utah, so doesn't concern me as much. So when we start having kids, I can only hope they are born in one of those times. I just would hate for a child to be born on/near a holiday. I'm born near Memorial Day - which isn't as big of a deal like Thanksgiving or Christmas, but sucks when everyone celebrates Memorial Day instead of my birthday. It's your one special day of the year - and I just don't think you should share it. lol

That's all.

Day 10 and 11

Day 10 was the plyo cardio circuit, and today is cardio recovery - haven't done day 11 yet today, but will tonight.

Some thoughts today...

I've been having major dreams about being pregnant. Starting from me being pregnant, and not noticing because I was so fat... to dreams about my sister in law being pregnant... to dreams about myself being pregnant and being mad that I wasn't as skinny as I wanted to be when I got pregnant.

So this says a lot of things to me. First, I wonder if when I'm ready to have kids - I'll feel ready. Do you know what I mean? I mean, when I was going to marry Eric - I KNEW I was ready for that. Will this be the same way? There's only two things holding me back from having kids... one, car loans, and two, being 115 lbs the day I get pregnant. I weigh 129 today. And it fluctuates a ton between 128 to 130. It's extremely obnoxious. And thinking, oh I only have 15 lbs to lose before I'm 115 doesn't seem like a lot to me. And I so hope insanity is the thing that kicks to the curb. We'll see.

That being said, I know I need to start eating better - and by that, I mean, portion control. I've been keeping track of my calories on myfitnesspal.com and apparently I eat a lot more calories than I probably should. (Doctor said to stay within 1200 - 1500 calories.... so I should probably stick to the 1200 side)

So it's my goal for the week, or day, or however long I can do it - to make sure my portions are good, to make sure I just eat one or two of something, and not more. I've been very good about what I am putting in my body - but sometimes slip up and have the occasional slice of pizza... which is fine, but will just let me maintain my weight which is NOT what I want to do.

And maybe I need to make smaller goals. Like maybe my next goal should be getting to 125. That's four pounds... and can't be that hard. And maybe it will be easier for me. So here I go... doing the best I can.

And hoping for kids someday.

Day 5 - Day 9

Day 5 - Pure Cardio, Day 6 - Plyo Cardio Circuit, Day 7 - Rest, Day 8 - Cardio Power and Resistance, Day 9 - Pure Cardio...

So insanity is going well - but the whole losing weight thing isn't. And I know it's because I'm eating more than I need to - so I need to be better about tracking that (in myfitnesspal.com).

I just want to lose ten lbs - is that so much to ask?

It's going to take a lot of discipline - but I need to do it.

Also, I'm giving up running for the next two weeks. My leg is NOT okay. Just means I need to get on my bike. I need to figure out a way to take the saddle to Jixie's while riding my bike. Too bad I don't have a little wagon or something to connect to the back.